Have you noticed that there are at least two different kinds of focus? The first is the one most in the zeitgeist these days is the negative one: You’re binge watching the latest Black Mirror series on a work night and you really should go to bed but you can’t stop watching. You’re playing a video game and must finish the level before you can go out to go grocery shopping. You’re just going to scroll through two more reels and then you’re going to start dinner.
But then you keep going. When this happens I have a negative mix of emotions. There’s some guilt, knowledge you could be doing something better with your time, and for me there’s also an indescribable “yuck” which I can’t even place – it might be the sense of being externally manipulated or it might just be not being fully in control.
But then there’s another kind of focus. Most recently I’ve felt this when I was revamping my digital life. There’s problem solving to be done, there are bugs to be sorted, a missing piece to figure out and a carrot at the end of the stick that is a lifestyle improvement. I feel it when I’m cooking, out on a bike ride or a run. There have been times when I’ve been out on what was to be a 30 minute run that the weather was so good and the experience so pleasant I kept going for twice as long – even suffering injury. But mentally I felt great. It’s possibly what I’ve heard described as a flow state. There’s no nagging “I should be doing X but here I am wasting my time doing Y.” There is only what I’m doing, the here and now and the experience. No past, no future. Just now, solving the problem, climbing the hill, rolling the dough.
More of us are noticing it too. I can’t help but share Mike Monteiro’s story How to Smoke, the title of which made me recoil a little (I grew up with two smoking parents – so much so that I might as well have smoked – my clothes smelled like a chain smoker’s). But it’s really good. I won’t spoil it but its talk about how pervasive and unhealthy smoking was and how it has changed is a really encouraging look at where we are and where we might be going.
One place we might be going is where these kids are headed. I’m seeing more and more of these articles: These students are limiting their own smartphone, social media and tech use. Here’s why.
It’s also purely anecdotal but both Sage and I feel as if we’re seeing more and more people reading on public transit. It’s really wonderful to see.
The BBC is talking about “Frictionmaxxing” – deliberately moving away from scrolling, easy AI answers and things like using Google Maps directions and toward a more intentional use of tech – all in the goal of improving attention. One could say that my recent efforts toward single-device use fits that bill.
My favourite article of the week though is The Boring Internet:
The places you spent your younger years are gone or unrecognizable, and the places you use now are visibly straining under a flood of machine-generated text nobody asked for. There is a low ambient grief about it, and a faint guilt, something like:
“I should be doing something. I should be somewhere else. I want the old thing back.”
I want to tell you a thing that I think is true, and that I think will make you feel better.
The internet is not dying.
A commercial veneer glued on top of it is dying.
The layer where every human activity became a venture-backed destination, every destination became a feed, every feed became ad inventory, and every ad market became a machine for producing more things to interrupt you with.
This is what I’ve also been noticing. Yes, there’s a big, ugly, messy, attention monger of an Internet out there that somehow everyone seems to gravitate toward. But whenever we lament that the Internet of the 2000s (or the 1990s which was smaller, more personal and less commercial) is gone, it’s more likely that it’s not gone – you’re just making different choices. And I think you know this too as you’re here reading a blog when you could be scrolling TikTok. You made a conscious choice and on some level you understand the benefits.
And this is where I’ve been lately with my own journey. Speaking of which, how is it going, you ask?
According to my phone stats, I’m picking it up about 30-40% less than before. With hard limits at 30 minutes, I don’t scroll more than that – and basically that’s the extent of my phone use. My Apple Watch has become a really good substitute that doesn’t evolve into an attention trap leading me to time sinks. I have a music player on it with a few hours of music. I can respond with to text messages with short canned answers (“On my way!”) or it will do voice recognition to reply, and the other thing I routinely use is the transit app to see when buses might be coming. I do this less out of impatience but more to see if I need to walk briskly to the stop at work or I can take my time.
Reading is up a ton. I am reading lots. I am averaging 62 minutes/day with my longest day of reading at 132 minutes this past Sunday. This is not driven by scheduled “reading time” but simply reading when I feel like it: on the bus, with a coffee in the morning, a few min before going to sleep.
My mood has improved, I feel like I have more patience, focus and motivation. I suppose it’s easier to get motivated to do something like cook a more involved meal (last night’s chole, ajwain aloo and raita) instead of refried beans or a quick pasta dish when you are not drawn back to your phone.
What about you? How’s your digital life these days?
I always carry a book with me when there is some waiting to do. I rarely scroll at that time or when we are walking or sitting together. Thank you for this post. I will check the links. Is Sage still stitching her dresses? It rained for more than an hour yesterday morning and the weather is nice now.
Pre-phone that was always my plan as well. Leaving without a phone was lunacy! Then I might get delayed and have *nothing to read*.
Sage is still stitching – some trial and error that she won’t wear and then others that are slowly filling our closets. It’s part of her daily routine now.
Can you believe last night there was a prediction of possible snow flurries? We had a few on this past Sunday also. The battles between winter and spring are still going on. But at least as you can see in the photo with this post, things are starting to get a bit more green. That makes the world much more cheery.