It feels like up until now it’s just been nominally autumn. Sure, the days are getting shorter but I wasn’t wearing a jacket, and it was relatively dry. Last week, though, this ended. Last week I said that I would ride my bike to work. When I woke up, it was just above freezing and there was a bit of rain falling. Literally my least favourite weather. I packed my pannier and slumped around the house, getting ready like a kid who didn’t want to go to school. Then I saw that with rain gear, lunch, and snacks there wasn’t enough space to carry everything in one bag. I had to carry two bags. I felt like this.

But in the end I just did it. I wore rain pants, gloves, and a jacket and set off. The rain turned out to be light, I was more than warm enough, and the extra pannier actually made things more manageable to carry. The trip home was even easier. You can see here that the cold, wind, and rain have nearly completely removed the leaves from the trees and almost hidden the path from view.

Two days later the challenge grew. The rain had stopped but now it was just under freezing. This required a change of route. The bike paths through the woods are not cleared and likely wet. Puddles were likely frozen and dangerous. This time I wore merino wool on top and bottom and thicker gloves. When I rode, the air sometimes sparkled with icy fog that was settling on car windshields that those already awake were scraping. At this time of year my ride was dark with the sun only coming up about 10 minutes away from the office.

This time, too, I was mostly warm, though my shoes, designed for summer ventilation, made my toes cold enough to hurt as they came back to life in the hot shower. Not a big deal – next time I’ll wear thicker socks be warm.

With toes thawed, I went to my office and fetched a coffee and settled in to work. My toes had me thinking again about discomfort. A coffee at work is nice, but after a cold ride and hot shower, the coffee was more satisfying. And yet, how often do I arrange my life to avoid discomfort – often protecting comfort with the same energy as we I protect my own survival. What happens if I lean into “safe discomfort”? How does that affect my mood?

Thursday I did just that, heading out into another cold afternoon, immediately after work instead of relaxing and dithering. While I didn’t want to run, I headed out to do so anyway. Yes, it was cold, but I warmed up in 15 minutes. I ran through a beautiful forest, listened to good music and on the way home beat two personal records on a couple of segments of my run.

It almost feels like buying happiness with discomfort. It’s counterintuitive but what can I say?

I’ve also continued to avoid spending lots of time on social media or even my computer for recreation. Instead, my “distraction free e-reader” (an iPad where I’ve locked myself out of everything except e-readers) has become my preferred thing to scroll. I’ve reduced social media consumption significantly. A month ago I was spending 4-6 hours/week on social media. This week I spent a total of 1 hour 48 minutes. The difference is noticeable. I feel happier, more focused and able to concentrate to a scary degree, and am finishing more books in less time. Yesterday I finished reading my fifty-first book of 2023.

This week I ran one time and biked twice. It’s less than I was aiming for but still solid. Next week I’m going to aim for three rides and at least two runs.

Something New:

For Saturday’s outing Sage, Daegan, and I headed out to Mr. John’s Real Kerala Kitchen. We shared two chicken dishes along with mutton and fish curry, parathas and ghee rice. We left absolutely stuffed.

As usual we traveled by transit which is so different than my experience traveling as a kid. Instead of the driver having to focus on driving, all of us could just hang out while we were driven where we needed to go. A massive improvement.

My ratings – This trip:

• Transit: 7/10 – Easy enough to get there – but on the way there the bus was packed. Twenty-three Girl Guides and a few moms all got on. Luckily we had a seat. The trip home via bus and subway took longer but not crowded at all.
• Food: 7/10 – Delicious food though the fish curry had a few more bones than I like which made it a bit more effort (and how does one gracefully take the bones out of your mouth?).
• Atmosphere: 10/10 – The whole night’s atmosphere was great. Crowded buses were still jolly, the restaurant had lots of people enjoying a Saturday night together. And of course it’s always fun going out together as a family.
• Price 4/10: Food was a bit pricey though to be fair we did get a lot of food with leftovers for the next day.

Sage’s ratings – This Trip:

• Transit 7/10: The buses were a bit crowded but the subway was lovely and empty.
• Food 9/10: WOWIE KAPOWIE YUM YUM YUM, it’s only not a 10 because I didn’t notice mine had bones before ordering.
• Atmosphere 9/10: Warm, friendly restaurant filled with great food and nice humans.
• Price 10/10: Totally fair for three people and wonderful food.

My birthday was excellent. The day started at 6:45 AM with someone buzzing to be let in. I was startled – who is visiting us at that ridiculous hour? Sage told me not to worry – and five minutes later she went to the door and came back with Starbucks lattes – a lovely birthday surprise. I spent the day relaxing, playing games with Sage and reading until the afternoon. Then it was time to put this year’s word, “endurance”, into use. I logged in to Zwift and joined a time trial. For the next half hour I pushed myself to ride fast, every now and again asking myself “Am I giving all I can?” if my effort flagged, then pushing again. In the end, instead of ending in the middle to end of the pack as I did in most of my races in 2023, I came in second out of thirty five. I wonder how much of this can be owed to remembering to give my best.

All of this pushing – and remembering to push has resulted in a notable increase in mood with all days 6 or above and more days rated 7 than before. Now the plan is to apply this approach – of pushing myself mindfully next week: at work, on the bike, and when out for a run. More important than that will be to remember to do that when I catch myself trying to rationalize not working hard or exercising when I know I can and should.

How goes your autumn?